Churches vary considerably in their requirements before a marriage can be arranged. Each, one might say, is a special case. Thus it is essential before announcing where the marriage will take place that a check is made with the incumbent of the church or place of your choice.

People opting for a church wedding often choose their local church, or perhaps one which they have a special attachment with (i.e. a church where their parents got married, or a church they went to in their childhood years). Whichever church you choose, almost all are very approachable.

The information he gives will be important so take a notebook and pen with you. He should tell you what the wedding fees will be for his services, for the cost of publishing banns, for an organist, for a choir, for bellringers, the verger etc. It will then be up to the couple to decide what they want and what their families can afford.

When the incumbent of the church has satisfied himself that the couple are qualified to marry one another – that each is free to marry by virtue of not being married to anyone else, that both are of age, of a religion that is acceptable to his church, with, if applicable the qualification of baptism and so on – then he will be prepared to discuss specific times and dates. He will also require full details of names, dates of birth and of any other church involved. He will advise on the reading of banns if applicable and on any necessary residential qualifications.

The Bride and Groom should ask for an appointment with the rector, vicar, priest or minister. It is an important part of his job to help with guidance and advice. He will explain at what times and on what dates a marriage can be solemnized in his church.

It might be possible to fix all the arrangements at that meeting. However, it would be advisable to refer to the relations concerned if any complications seem likely, in which case a letter clearly requesting the date, time, and services required should be sent to the incumbent as soon afterwards as possible.

If you require the services of an organist, find out his or her name so that an appointment for discussion of the music at the service can be arranged. A regular organist, as well as the incumbent, should be able advise if the music you wish is suitable and in his or her repertoire.

If, after discussion and any necessary telephone calls or correspondence, any further difficulties arise, make another appointment to see the incumbent of the church. Complications can crop up but can usually be sorted out.

When difficulties are experienced because of involvement of one of the parties with a divorce, an incumbent might be willing to perform the marriage, or he might be only willing to give a blessing. But whatever he says it must be remembered that it is his decision that counts. Upsetting the incumbent is the worst thing one can do. If it appears that a church wedding is not possible, a register office wedding is always available and could most probably be supplemented by a blessing elsewhere.

The article Church weddings originally appeared on 999 Today